Don't be in a relation for the wrong reasons

Don’t be in a relation if there is a gap, a void, something missing in your life. This is a trap. It puts you in victim mode. Partnerships should be equal. Else it is even unfair to the other person from whom you demand more than is reasonable. Find a passion, a goal, a hobby to fill that gap. Relations are valuable, they are emotional investments, sacred and not timepass or amusement when you have a lot of free time and nothing to do.

Don’t put pressure on your partner to make you feel good about yourself. Have your own self esteem and if it lacks do something meaningful to build it – by yourself. Just because you are in a partnership, don’t drag your partner into every unrelated aspect, don’t assign them the job that’s yours to do. The best investment you will ever make is in investing in yourself – your health, your state of mind, your career, your independence, your personality.

Your partner is not your shrink or psychiatrist. People just unfairly assume since I am so close to you I can pile on all my troubles on you or vent. The other person perhaps had a rough day at the job too. If you need an understanding partner, be understanding yourself too.

Don’t give in to peer pressure - everyone around me is in a relation and I don’t want to be left out and this person seems the best “option” by far! That’s not being honest with the both of you because you are operating from a place of fear and not genuine love. That’s also keeping real opportunity for love away from yourself and also the other person.

If you are in it for money, financial security or playing manipulative games, then you know where you stand and why. Its your choice and with choices come consequences.

Don’t take emotional abuse from your partner. Don’t purposely/ unconsciously psychologically abuse them either. Always be very alert of this fact, a line that easily gets blurred in close relations, we give that much of our power away to the other person. The virtue that keeps it in check is respect. Respect for the other person so as to not play them and respect for the self so as to not allow to get played.

Be with a person because you want to share. You want to share your fabulousness, your wholesomeness, your life. They are there to witness your highs and lows, your struugles, your triumphs, your evolution as a person, your personal journey of life. Be with someone who sees your value as you are and not someone who needs to be constantly reminded or proved. Be with someone not to constantly fight but because you enjoy making happy memories together, be it backpacking or zorbing! Be with someone who would rather play outdoor games like volleyball with you, than a partner who engages in silly mind games. Be with someone because you are fabulous and complete all by yourself, but their addition in your life only makes it better.

-S. Chaudhary

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