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Tuesday, 7 March 2017

Happy Women's Day? Let it be more than mere tokenism

Exhibit A - Kareena Kapoor Khan recently is in (self admittedly) the most happiest phase of her life. She recently gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Besides the atrocious and disgusting uncalled for controversy regarding her baby's name (which deserves a separate angry blog topic), now people seem to be targeting her weight! Any pictures from her recent events that I have seen, people are complaining about her weight and looks! To the spineless, nameless, faceless trolls I wanna say this - She just gave birth you morons! She carried another human being, do your tiny brains get that!! And she is as "fat" or unfit as your mother once was before she pushed you, a sorry excuse for a human being, out! If not about her weight, then people are busy criticizing how quickly she has gotten back to work! Really now?? She is being accused of being hungry for limelight or desperate for attention/ work! And the saddest part is that most of these comments are coming from women - of all the people who should especially understand and support her! Firstly, her body, her choice. Simple as that. Secondly - Newsflash- None of your business! If she feels like going back to work who the hell are you? Her doctor? There are women who work as maids or even in offices, far away from the Bollywood limelight and they get back to work as quickly as Kareena did but they don't get any flak at all. Nor should they. A woman wants to go to work immediately after birth or a year after giving birth, it IS and should be her choice. Let her be. Respect it.

Exhibit B - Anushka Sharma turns producer. The unfunny "joke" doing the rounds is that Virat Kohli has indeed pumped money in her project and she is just lending her name to it. How insulting is that? Her hard earned money, her vision, her risk taking, her absolute hard work on camera, as well as off it! And then to hear this. A highly irresponsible statement implying women aren't smart enough to envision great careers for themselves, do something path breaking and game changing, nor do they have the courage or finances to make their lofty dreams into a tangible reality at such a young age, unless of course a famous/ rich boyfriend/ husband backs her. Pathetic. Great job setting the scene for your future daughters and grand daughters.
I can go on and on. A 50 year old hero can romance a girl the age of his grown up daughter but a women's career is considered over by the time she hits 30. Women can work equally hard but there are pay discrepancies. And not just Bollywood, any aspect of life you choose. Women are STILL unfairly treated. The problem originating at the thought level.

Interfering in every decision or choice of women. Why? Are we unable to take our own decisions? Right from your dress choices (its either that you should wear clothes to please men's sensibilities or else you provoke them, isn't it?) to how you choose to express yourself or live your life. I met two men this week and the stench of misogyny and illiteracy wafted from all their half cooked notions, perspectives and their expectations of women and a women's "place and role" that they have conveniently laid down for us to follow. How thoughtful!  I realized how deep this problem is. Its how you view women - Like some "abla naari" who needs guidance and protection all the time. Yes, presently we do need laws that protect us both physically and materially from anti social elements and thanks to the fucked up world that has been created for us. But how does one change it? 2 Steps. Education. And Practical Application.

And this education regarding the equality of women is NEEDED at grass root levels. The environment where anti social elements are bred and readied. Look around for few yet practical examples, ask yourself and then teach your kids - Can a woman educate herself and fly a space shuttle to space? Yes. Despite her natural frame can she train hard and be a body builder, a boxer or a weight lifting champion on the global platform? Yes. Can she take care of her family and/ or run the biggest of organizations in the world? Yes. Is she competent enough to lead governments and countries with billions of people? Yes. Look around, in every field, women are equal to men.

Then why is she considered a burden and harassed and ultimately killed for the outdated and outlawed dowry? Why is she killed in the womb? Why is she considered a piece of meat, regardless she is in a mini skirt or salwar kameez (again none of your business), or whether she is 10 years old or 60, and raped? Why is there no fear or law? Or the understanding of how horrible this "crime" is? Why is woman shamed for choosing to be either a full time housewife or even a full time working woman? Even in our everyday parlance that young kids pick up why do we use phrases like "sharam aurat ka gehna hai" "ye ladkiyon waaley kaam nahi" "kya ladki ki tarah ro raha hai/ lad raha hai" "padh likh kay kya karegi, kitchen hi toh sambhalna hai"? Why every such phrase implies women are the weaker/ dumber sex thereby readying another generation of sexist pigs. Why can't women have choices like men and NOT be judged for it? Why do we have to live in boundaries and laws that men have set up for us and is convenient for them right from having a say on our choice of clothes to our passion/ careers? Why are we not treated with respect, besides a token of ladies first or reserving seat for us in public transport? A respect that stems from a deep understanding that we are "human beings" just like you, therefore we have rights just like you? Nature or God did not discriminate then who the hell are you? Why is every woman who tries to simply ask for equal rights as men labelled a "feminazi" a derogatory and highly damaging term for feminism?

 Dear Men, just look at women as you look at yourself. Would you like being constantly told what you are allowed to wear, how you should speak, that you cannot do night shifts regardless you lose your career, you have just become a father how dare you show up at work so quickly, etc etc. You have choices. Let us also have choices. Don't set down rules for us just like we don't make them for you. You have come from a woman, always remember that.
Dear Women, don't put a wrench in the movement that will ultimately benefit you and your daughters by judging other women simply because they don't follow rules set down by a highly prejudiced society that you have been following without reflection or awareness. Become another women's strength, not her worst enemy, she already has many other battles to fight. Don't pull another brave woman  who ditches traditions or walks a path different from yours, down.

Teach kids how female and male are and should be equally treated, beginning right at home. Unless you practice what you preach all education is just empty fancy words.

A Hundred years ago on this day, a Women's day demonstartion in Petrograd sparked the Russian Revolution. A hundred years later are we still battling painful disparities, glaring discriminations and stifling stereotypes? Yes. sadly, it is still a long way to go but change begins with an individual. You dedicated a day to us, aww sweet! But please go beyond the trappings of tokenism. From our apparently "first world problems" to very deep and disturbing issues like rape and domestic violence, fight for and be the voice of change, even if it is just your home or neighborhood. Let women be. Let them enjoy their one precious life in an environment that is not judging or criticizing them so harshly and which is safe, co-operative, equal and encouraging for her to truly express her true self and shine brightly, fearlessly. Then it will truly be a Happy Women's Day - Everyday.

- S. Chaudhary
Pictures courtesy Google images.

Tuesday, 28 February 2017

You hate successful women

I know I am a bit late blogging about this topic, yet its so relevant so here goes. Actually a conversation today fueled this fury so here I am. As most people who follow hindi cinema would know that Anushka Sharma, the famous actress is also producing her forthcoming film. This is her second venture as a producer. And there is this person today I'm speaking with who makes a "joke" about how Virat Kohli financed her movie! Firstly, what's funny? I'm terribly sorry I am missing the humor (if any) here so please explain to me. Or are you being witty, a smart ass, like what exactly are you trying to achieve by making that statement? Cause the only reaction you are managing to get out of me is utter disgust and rage. I am pissed off, at your disgusting thought process, of how utter failures your parents have been, what horrible parents you are going to make in the future and the society that you will stay in and continue to poison with your bullshit, petty thoughts. Anushka Sharma, an "outsider" in Bollywood without a filmy big brother or daddy makes it on her own as a huge actress. Not just that, even after so many years and despite the uncertain nature of the industry (besides other discriminations of course such as pay gap and age discrimination vis-a-vis heroes to mention a few) manages to still hold a top position despite hits or flops, because of sheer talent. Then this girl decides, admirably at such a young age to become a producer. Do you understand how risky that profession is? You need to be "brave" to become a producer. Your money may never come back if the audience outright rejects your movie. It involves HUGE costs. A whole entire crew that you feed everyday as you shoot, studios, outdoors, post production and a separate marketing budget that is at times equal to the total investment in the production of the film. Plus, like her first movie, she is yet again choosing an off beat script and not playing it safe with romance. She is truly trying something new. She wishes to have a glorious career as a producer as well. people cannot handle a single career effectively here she is dabbling two and trying to do the right thing. If she succeeds at this, just think how many jobs will she create for others and how many people will be fed.  And how do you piss on her parade? By making stupid statements which imply - Obviously since she is a "female" she is not smart enough to think for herself and needs a guy to back her career choices. How can she ever have a grand vision and then obviously how can she finance it herself? No woman can achieve anything unless a guy a backing her isn't it? Illiterates and a sorry excuse for human beings who need to feel better about their own meaningless and rotten existence obviously need to pull down a successful business woman to feel better about themselves, isn't it? To people who make such irresponsible statements I want to ask - Don't you have a mother or a sister? If you will have a daughter in the future, this is the indiscriminate world you are creating and paving for her to always fight and suffer in? Are you realizing the damage your careless words do? How you are influencing young kids around you who hear your stupid words and then those very young boys grow up to be men with a sense of entitlement and superiority complex whereas girls grow up to be low in self esteem and always doubting her strengths. Sick fucks like you piss me off with all that garbage coming out of your mouth. Do yourself and us a huge favor and just shut the fuck up.

- S. Chaudhary

Monday, 27 February 2017

Opposites Attract

The devil sat captivated across the angel. Eyes fixated and focused on trying to find that one tiny flaw that would make her just like him. Obsessed with finding a chink in her perfect armor.
The angel sat bewitched across the devil. Eyes stubbornly searching that broken part through which light could get inside him. Obsessed with finding a tiny ray of hope behind his perfect mask.

- S. Chaudhary

But what about her wounds?

Thousands thronged and waited at her doorstep. The crowd continuing to pour in, never diminishing. Broken, bleeding, twisted, hopeless. Ceaselessly, the angel met them one by one. Soothing wounds, applying healing balms, touch or words of assurance, whatever they needed. Then someone saw a large horizontal slit across the angel's back - unattended, septic and bleeding her to death slowly.

- S. Chaudhary

Thursday, 12 January 2017

The doctor and the patient. Head versus Heart.

"No option left. You will have to cut them off and let them go," the doctor said heartlessly.

"Noooo," I screamed out of fear, "The pain my God! How will I ever bear such excruciating pain? And then what about after that? Could I ever cope with such irretrievable loss?"

"You'll live. You'll survive," the doctor said rather coldly.

"But why do I Have to cut them off?" I tried to reason as well as plea as a last resort.

"Because," the decisive doctor spoke with finality, " gangrene has already set in your relationships."

- S. Chaudhary.

Friday, 6 January 2017


I hoped. Time passed. But the apology never came.
So now I hope, as time passes, maybe forgiveness will still come.

- S. Chaudhary

Sunday, 18 December 2016


...and so the more tighter she held, as she felt him slipping away through her fingers

The more suffocated he felt under the chains of her insecurity and fear,

The harder he tried to break free from those clutches and run away

...and so the more tighter she held, as she felt him slipping away through her fingers

- S. Chaudhary